Tapeouts are gruelling.
Any mistakes that are not caught and fixed before tapeout means an expensive, in both time and money, silicon respin. There is no room for mistakes. Every tapeout must aim for perfection. And as the deadline approaches, so does the pressure: welcome to tapeout hell.
Once the clock has run out, the deadline has been met, and the last revision taped-in we are in need of a way to tell our body and mind that it is over. Simply proclaiming it is finished and moving along, leaving behind the tapeout as a checked task is simply blinding oneself to the gravity of the situation and the weight of the effort. Although doing so might be tolerable for sparse tapeout schedules, few will last under heavy load. (This is a well meaning recommendation from someone that has done over 5 tapeouts in the last 12 months.)
And so, we presently find ourselves in need of a tradition: a metaphorical door symbolizing we have escaped tapeout hell, and are now free.
For me, this door is located below the black and yellow neon yue of my local waffle house.
The Dress Code#
As you may have surmised dear reader, this trip down to Waffle House isn’t a casual affair but part of a tradition. And on account of its status as tradition it is accompanied with a dress code.
Although most patrons of this esteemed establishment might find it perfectly acceptable to come adorned in their finest morning pyjamas complete with pink bunny slippers, this is not the dress code our outing requires.
Rather, the tapeout tradition requires you to disregard your inability to walk straight, and make the excruciating trip up the stairs and into your dressing, pull out your finest garments, because this dress code is formal.
More specifically, since referring to “formal dress” is somewhat imprecise, the dress code is “one star michelin restaurant” formal which is located above “tech interview dress” but below “I could get married in this”. For men this means polished leather shoes, neat dress pants with matching shirt, ties and vests being optional. For women it is adorning an elegant pair of heels, mid or long length dresses and spending the additional time before heading out attempting to hide the disheveled traces of the previous all nighter.
Do not mind the confused looks of the staff and patrons as you step inside the restaurant. Fret not, as you are not here simply for a heartwarming 4pm breakfast but as an act of celebration.
The Menu#
One brewed coffee and a plate of waffles, cooked to taste.
Coffee is the most delightful taste in the world.
Yet our tradition does not call upon coffee for its taste or the refinement of its aroma, its inclusion onto our menu is a matter of ruthless pragmatism.
We come not in search of coffee, we come in need of caffeine, and in this quest the 2.5 $ unlimited hot brew is the optimum solution.
The choice of the main dish shall come as no surprise to be the specialty of the house: a plate of freshly cooked waffles. At this point I would like to warn patrons unfamiliar with Waffle House about one of the particularities of this establishment: assuming you come outside of rush hours, both your waiter and cooks will do their utmost to satisfy your request, regardless if your monstrous creation is on the menu. So before coffee comes to rescue your clouded mind, be vigilant of your order else your “waffle with bacon” may end up precisely as you requested.
Wonderful_Net_5523 for this picture.The predefined choice of menu is not arbitrary but rather serves an explicit triple purpose. Firstly there is the visual symbolism of the waffle which needs no further explanation. Secondly this pre-set menu protects sleep deprived participants from the worst of their culinary exuberances. But most important of all, it removes choice, which after having battled for days on end making choice upon choice, is uniquely liberating.
All that is left#
As your plate of warm waffles is served you may take a bite and slowly sink into the stall, for it is done. The deadline has been met, the chip has been sent off to the fab, and as the exhilaration that was keeping you pushing ahead washes away it is time for a silent celebration.
